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And now for some more news from my 1977 collection!
Today Princess Anne, the Royal equestrian look-a-like and buffoon,
was arrested in Tesco's supermarket in Hastings, where she thought she
would try her hand at a spot of shop lifting....
The manager of the store could not believe his eyes when he was called
to the security station to witness CCTV film footage being filmed of
Princess Anne blatantly stuffing 6 bags of horse manure, 16 cans of
dead cheap baked beans, 5 tins of tobacco, 3 packets of washing line
clothes pegs, 2 bags of frozen peas, 10 boxes of matches, 25 pairs of
rubber gloves, 13 mouse traps, 500 plastic sandwich bags, 19 scrubbing
brushes, 200 red candles, 20 pairs of mens trouser braces, 30 old
ladies hairnets, 550 tubes of denture cleaning tablets and a toilet
brush down her horse riding jodhpurs and an old horse sack she was
carrying in her hand.
The disgusted store manager ordered his security staff to apprehend
Princess Anne in her juvenile, and equestrian, not to mention criminal
act of petty thieving, whilst he telephoned the police.
A short while later angry police dragged the smelly Princess Anne
together with the stolen goods, out of the Tesco's store in front of
angry and jeering members of the public and 40 other shoplifters, who
were angry that she had drawn attention to all thieving activities in
the store and almost got them caught as well.
Later in Hasting's Magistrates court, Princess Anne told the court that
she was only trying to steal some much needed provisions since her dole
money was suspended to pay off previous fines for criminal convictions,
as she was somewhat impecuneous.
Magistrates told her that was no excuse to commit more crimes and
sentenced her to 500 days in the stocks outside Holloway prison where
the public and Tescos staff have been ordered to pelt Princess Anne
with all manner of smelly disgusting produce that would normally be fed
to pigs.
Princess Anne was also fined £90,000,000 for damages to Tescos and
setting a bad example to Tesco's shoppers and shoplifters nationwide.
Princess Anne was said to be far from amused and was taken to the stocks minus her goofy smile to commence her sentence.
And now for the weather news....
Tonight there will be hailstones and smelly rain from swamps falling
over the stocks outside Holloway Prison where Princess Anne is being
detained, but the rest of the country will have a lovely mild and
peaceful night.
Tomorrow there will be torrential rain and high winds over the stocks
outside Holloway Prison where Princess Anne is being detained, but the
rest of the country will have glorious sunshine.
And that is all the news for tonight.
Goodnight.
Written by Kaz 1977
Copyright Kaz 1977 |
