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Mr
& Mrs Twee,
Went
for a walk in the country,
They
discovered a twee farm shop cafe,
And
stopped to partake of the fayre on display.
They
sat down to a nice cream tea,
Plastic
tablecloth and china crockery,
Lace
doilies to boot,
With
other Twee's all around, what a hoot!
But
their peace and pleasure abruptly ceased,
When
in was brought a child, wanting feast,
The
child stole Mrs Twee's scone,
He
didn't want just any one!
Mrs
Twee snatched the scone back off the
child,
Boy
oh boy was Mrs Twee riled!
But
the boy was determined to have her scone,
And
so the battle for the scone, had just
begun!
Mrs
Twee determined to win the battle,
And
soon engaged into some tittle tattle,
She
told off the boy for stealing her scone,
But
goaded his mother to set upon....
Set
upon the barbed tongued Mrs Twee,
Until
the battle turned into a war,
The
boy crying for Mrs Twee's scone you
see,
Narked
his mother so much she hit out and tore....
Tore
Mrs Twee's nice new coat,
As
a scrap commenced, go act the goat!
The
juvenile scrap began to make a mess,
As
hot tea spilled over Mrs Twee's new
dress.
The
disgruntled boy flicked jam at Mrs Twee's
hat,
Soon
all sticky and jammie, get that!
Mr
Twee tried in vain,
To
prize the warring women, apart again!
The
boy seized the chance to grab the scone,
As
it flew out of Mrs Twee's hand in the
fight,
The
boy was quite a canny one,
To
catch her scone in flight!
Mrs
Twee was now fuming mad,
Jammie
hatted and riled up bad,
The
clotted cream slid off the falling table,
Before
Mr Twee was fully able......
Able
to prevent the cream landing on Mrs
Twee's shoe,
Which
subsequently, stuck like glue!
Now
Mrs Twee was a walking cream tea,
And
visibly angry for all to see.
The
owner of the twee cafe,
Ordered
the warring women to leave,
But
in a bid to throw them out you see,
The
door shut on Mrs Twee's coat sleeve....
The
door ripped off the arm of Mrs Twee's
coat,
Oh
dear did the patrons scoff and gloat!
Mr
Twee was unable to calm,
A
Mrs Twee minus her coat arm!
Mrs
Twee demanded the price of a new coat
and hat,
But
the cafe owner would hear nothing of
that!
The
mother and boy were determined to continue
the war,
And
so they pushed Mrs Twee to the floor!
Mrs
Twee landed in a pile of horse manure,
Leaving
Mrs Twee far from demure!
The
battle set to get out of hand,
Saw
Mrs Twee rise and raise her hand.
The
mother of the boy in his defense,
Pushed
Mrs Twee over a paddock fence,
But
a raging bull was waiting there,
And
by his horns raised up Mrs Twee, by
her hair!
Mrs
Twee struggling with all her might,
Was
shaking and screaming amidst the fright,
The
boy threw soil and stones at Mrs Twee,
One
hit the bull who dropped her in a puddle
of pee!
By
now Mrs Twee looked far from prim,
Covered
in cream tea, pee and manure so grim,
Mr
Twee was at a terrible loss,
To
calm Mrs Twee the angry boss!
Boss
was she in the norm of things,
But
yet again reduced to messy offerings,
With
the boy and his mother so keen to battle
on,
They're
war accelerated and so keen to be won.
Mrs
Twee was not to be taken out,
Despite
her sustaining a final clout,
Which
saw her land in a cow feeding trough,
With
onlookers laughing what a scoff!
Mrs
Twee never got to enjoy her country
cream tea,
Her
hat and coat got a taste of more than
she,
Cared
to sample of the countryside,
Would
she now go home and forever stay inside?
~&~
Copyright:
Kazytc 2008
By
Kazytc
~&~
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