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Mr
& Mrs Twee decided they would go
to church,
Their
vicar waiting in pulpit perch!
The
Twee's all dressed up in Sunday best,
They
had to be a cut above the rest.
Mrs
Twee with toffee nose up in the air,
Waltzed
down the aisle to a pew,
To
a front place amongst chosen few,
But
peace was not to be found there....
For
a child who didn't like Mrs Twee,
Because
she was so toffee nosed and snobby,
Decided
to water pistol her posh new coat,
The
little torment was into acting the goat!
Mrs
Twee was not at all amused,
Verbalizing
her disdain undiffused!
The
child thought that was such jolly fun,
Knowing
he had riled her some!
The
only front pew to have was near the
child,
The
child planning more mischief smiled!
Out
came his peashooter and bag of peas,
Target,
the hat of Mrs Twee's!
The
child pelted in successive fire,
One
pea after another with force so dire!
Mrs
Twee's hat was covered in peas,
All
around the brim he was a tease!
Mr
Twee told the child to 'pack it in',
But
in doing so disturbed the vicar, what
a sin!
Mrs
Twee gave the child a filthy look,
The
child's father some offense took....
The
child's father was a burley fighting
man,
He
shoved the Twee's with fist like a lump
of ham!
The
child decided to pelt Mrs Twee's hat
with a conker or two,
Which
knocked her hat into the floor of the
pew!
Mrs
Twee bent down to pick up her hat,
The
child deposited upon her seat, some
cow pat,
His
stocks of mischief and tools so plenty,
In
fact I think, something like twenty!
Twenty
different things to use on Mrs Twee,
How
mischievous can you be!?
Mrs
Twee sat down in the cow pat,
Just
how disgusting, is that!
Mrs
Twee stood up and let out a yell,
Her
anger now boiling and impossible to
quell,
Mr
Twee was into a fight with the child's
Dad,
And
he too was hopping mad!
The
child decided more was to come,
And
deposited in Mrs Twee's pocket some
sticky gum,
Gum
he has first off chewed then spatt out,
Gee
did this make Mrs Twee shout!
The
vicar ordered the fighting to stop,
Now
he was angry and on the hop,
The
mess the child and Twee's had made in
his church,
Forcing
the Vicar off his pulpit perch!
Mrs
Twee had cow pat all over her posh coat,
Sticky
gum in her pocket and peas on her hat
- go gloat!
The
child father had ripped Mr Twee's mackintosh,
And
punched him in the face with his fist
like a kosh!
The
parishoners sat with disgust on faces,
An
appropriate way to behave, in such Godly
places,
The
mess was getting out if hand,
But
the child had more kinds of mischief
planned!
The
Vicar marched the Twee's and their opponents
out,
He
could take no more with out a doubt!
But
in the church yard the child ran amok,
He
threw lumps of soil at Mrs Twee's frock!
Mrs
Twee tried to chase the child away,
But
tripped and fell into a mound of soil
and clay!
Now
she was covered from head to foot,
Whilst
Mr Twee sustained another head butt,
From
the child's father, who could see no
wrong,
In
his child's behaviour, a very rough
throng!
The
Twee's were irate and it showed,
The
child and his father easy to goad...
Could
not avoid continuing the scrap,
The
poor Vicar was in a flap,
His
Sunday Service ruined for sure,
The
Twee's were targeted even more.
A
parshoner called the local police,
The
affray was now set to increase,
The
child hell bent on mischief had more,
A
banana skin saw Mrs Twee fall to the
floor.
The
police arrived in a riot van,
Assumed
Mrs Twee was drunk and threw her in,
Into
their van went Mrs Twee,
Followed
by the Mr Twee, for all to see!
But
the child and his father were also taken,
To
the local police station,
The
Twee's accused the child of starting
the fight,
Likewise
did the child and his father but who
was right?
The
police decided to impose charges on
all,
They
needed the court to decide the culprit
of the brawl!
The
Twee's were mortified at the thought,
Of
having to appear before magistrates
in the local court !
Their
reputation was now in tatters,
Like
that is the only thing that matters!
To
say nothing of their ruined clothes
and hats,
And
the ruination of a church service alas!
It
seems that the Twee's are safe nowhere,
Now
they consider that life isn't fair,
For
they were dealt another cruel blow,
When
the court said they should better know!
And
the result was that they got a criminal
record,
Fined
some money and given an ASBO order,
at which they roared,
This
isn't right, please you are not right
in this,
They
commenced to shouting at the magistrate
a diss!
This
afforded them a contempt of court,
The
penalty was a spell in prison and a
lesson taught,
Now
the Twee's were reduced to local jail
birds,
The
way they felt was beyond all words!
How
could these two posh people keep face,
Now
they had been reduced to such disgrace?
Their
names and photos all over the papers,
Exposing
their now outlandish capers!
They
cannot even go to church to prey,
How
could such a disaster befall their Twee
Sunday?!
Not
safe let out without a police escort!
Fighting
in church and tut tut, then landing
in court!
~&~
Copyright:
Kazytc 2008
By
Kazytc
~&~
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